shaving
You know, those people over at Gilette think they are pretty smart.When I first started shaving, most people just had those single blade razors. But then the geniuses over at the Gilette company came out with a product called the Sensor that had two blades, and that was better. Yay! Now our faces hurt a little bit less, or so we have been led to believe.
Well now they are selling a razor with three blades in it called the Mach 3. It really is better. I hate shaving, so I only do it about once a week, and I'm here to tell you that the extra blade helps mow down the stubble.
What makes me nuts is that they had to know ten years ago that three blades would be better than two, they just held out on the American public so they could milk the two blade system for all it was worth! Those bastards! Someone told me they are working on a four blade system now.
No fucking shit!
Why don't they just skip the bullshit and get right on with producing the five blade razor so I can shave each side of my face in a single swipe? Damnit!
Now I know what some of you are going to say... "Get an electric razor!"
That's all fine and well for you people with wimpy hairs, but my facial hair is manly and rugged and does not submit easily. The old fashioned wet method is the only thing that works for me. I have bought a number of different electric razors only to be disappointed time and again. I even bought one of those ones that squirts lotion out the top, but it wasn't any better than the others I have had.
When I am rich and famous I will have an old wrinkly barber shave me with a straight razor as part of my morning routine, which will also include being bathed by naked girls in a huge indoor pool like Eddie Murphy in Coming To America.
"The Royal Penis is clean, your highness."
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