swan dive
So, I'm about to go to my sunday gig, and I'm farting around with the computer and watching that evil bitch, the TV. There's a dude on the screen wearing a rapelling harness and standing on top of a 30 foot cliff looking down at the camera. He's yacking at the camera, but you can't hear what he's saying because the announcer is yacking louder about what he's up to.Apparently this was his audition tape for the show Survivor.
So, he fools with his rope a bit, and then leaps off the cliff spread-eagle style. He sails rather gracefully through the air, and then smacks his dumb ass into the ground at the foot of the cliff with a lack of grace that could be truthfully described as "utter". I mean, this guy hit the ground just about as hard as one can hit it and live to tell the tale. We're talking about the sort of impact that plucks that human string inside all of us that makes us give a wincing "Ooh!".
The announcer said he broke a rib and busted all his teeth out, among other injuries.
Then he's on camera some months later as he's healing up, trying to smile with his jaw wired shut. He delivers the following pearl of wisdom:
"Well," he surmises, "about all I can say about it is I guess the rope was too long."
Now, that's the kind of attitude I can appreciate. This guy's probably been laughed at by everyone he's told about it, and yet he maintains a sheepish admission about improper rope length. Worse yet, there's video to prove what a fuckbrain he was! Despite all that, he has the balls to grin and state the very painfully obvious. What a fuckin trooper, that guy!
Well, Survivor Hopeful Swan Dive Guy, I salute you. Glad you didn't die, and I hope you heal up soon.
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