A to Z and the size of a chicken
It was a strange night in Buckhead.There were heaps and heaps of people in the streets, due to the NBA all star game being in town. The city officials had closed down a lot of roads to try to discourage people from cruising back and forth and clogging up traffic, but traffic was horribly clogged anyway.
Despite the hordes of humanity knocking about outside, many bars were just empty as could be. Sports fans are pretty selective about what bars they go to, I guess.
Inside the Suckhead Baloon, a large local bar, merrymakers were sparse, and as such the band was playing a game called A to Z.
A to Z consists of the band playing songs by artists in alphabetical order. If they can't think of a song for a particular letter, they play a double shot of the next letter. The crowd was having a hard time grasping the guidelines for alphebetizing names verses band names, so Abel, the lead singer, was barking at them over the mic.
"No, no!" he shouted. "We are on M here, people, the letter M! Marvin Gaye is G. His last name starts with G."
The crowd shouted mixed responses. They didn't get it.
"See, Men at Work starts with M." he explained, then added off the mic "Ya stupid fuckers."
Someone in the crowd shouted that they were ready to throw shit at the band. I was laughing it up and snapping pictures in the back.
The Tonemaster, lead guitarist and the guitar player with the greatest tone in the history of the known universe, grabbed the mic. "Yeah go on, throw shit, go ahead!".
Someone lobbed an ashtray, and the security staff descended on them like rats on a veal cutlet.
"Men at work starts with M," Abel announced, and the band launched into a rendition of that Land Down Under song as the security guys milled around, talking on their radios. the song was pretty good. I snapped some more photos and fucked off to get myself a beer.
When I came back the guys were trying to decide what to play for P.
"Paul McCartney!" shouted someone.
Abel visibly underwent something I can only describe as a mental vomit. He had had enough of trying to explain to the crowd. "We're going to take a break and pee in a bucket," he announced, and everyone walked off stage. They pushed through the flappy kitchen doors next to me. I followed them.
"A TO Z!" Abel was shouting, "How fucking hard is it?"
The owner was standing there peeing in a bucket in front of everyone. The band alawys takes a break in the little store room to avoid the drunken idiots in the crowd, and there's no bathroom back there, so they pee in a bucket instead.
"Jesus, man, put your dick away" Abel suggested.
The owner smiled. "You see the size of that chicken, boy?"
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