vagina monologue
A girl whose diary I like wonders what men expect women's sexual parts to look like.Ladies, I am here to tell you, you are beautiful and your parts are too! We love you and we want to touch you and kiss you. Let us! Specifically, me!
I told my friend that pretty much everything is okay as long as there is no resemblance to Johnny Cash on the part of the vagina.
I'd also hate to see one that looked like Willie Nelson, or Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, although I can't say for 100% certain that it would stop me from having sex with the girl to whom it was attached.
Vaginas to us are like some of the elements that are higher up on the periodic table. As you look at a chart of a woman's anatomy, you think "Arms, yes, they have those, Chin, yes, nose, yes, legs, okay, vagina, errrr... very unstable, only observable under lab conditions."
It's like vaginas have a special power that instantly erases the memory of themselves from your brain as soon as you get a good look. Whenever you see one you're like "Oh yeah! Lick there, poke there, got it!", but then an hour later you can't remember a thing.
I can say for sure that I never saw one and was like "Jesus Christ! Catch that thing and shoot it before it devours my leg!". Mostly, when I am lucky enough to see one, I am hearing the singing of angels from on high, and basking in the glow of a single ray of light from the heavens that shines down upon me.
Then I say to myself, "Okay THIS time I am going to find out what this thing is all about," but as soon as I get started checking things out I decide I want to have sex instead and then all clinical research goes right out the window.
I think a large part of this wonderment on the part of my friend is as a result of hearing that a growing amount of plastic surgery is being performed on vaginas. As I have said, I have never seen one that I didn't think was the most glorious thing on the face of the earth, at least at the time. Maybe I have just been lucky.
If I ever catch one doing country tunes with a little guitar and a black suit, though, I'll let you guys know.
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