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tax return

I was avoiding my dad.

He left a message on my cellphone, and I didn't listen to it.

I was avoiding him because he is an accountant and he does my taxes every year and I knew he was going to tell me I owed like a thousand dollars that I don't have. He left a second message today.

"Look, quit avoiding me," my phone squawked in my dad's voice, "You don't owe money, you get a return."

I immediately hung up and called him.

"Hey pops!" I said.

"Yeah you get a return."

"OH, sweet, how much?"

"$900, I'll be up there tomorrow to give you a check."

"Nice! I wasn't avoiding you, by the way."

"Don't give me that, I've known you all your life."

Of course he's right, I do that sort of thing. Still, 900 bucks! Woo!

Titty bars, here I come!

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