i am a jackass
I had no business driving, whatsoever. I was tanked out of my gourd.I parked my car in front of some very expensive condos, and trotted across the street, peering at a slip of paper with her apartment number on it.
She came outside to greet me in her pajamas.
"Hi" I said.
"Hey."
She turned around and led me through a courtyard, down some steps, and into her small place. I sat down on her couch.
We started talking about all sorts of stuff. Most of it had to do with how everyone took advantage of her. I found this particularly disturbing, since I hoped to do a bit of that myself, and might not get the chance if she was looking out for it.
She talked on and on. I was totally blasted out of my mind on enough beer to soak a full grown horse. "Jesus christ, she is killing me with talk!" I thought. I started thinking about living every day as though it were your last. I like that idea, but it doesnt work out well in practice. What would I be doing right now if I knew I were going to die tomorrow?
I decided that I had to expose my privates to her right then and there.
"You may not believe this," I told her, "but I have never done what I am about to do."
I pulled myself out, pointing at the ceiling.
"You are such a jackass" she told me.
I gave her the thumbs up, and two parts of me were pointing at the ceiling.
She started yelling at me.
"YOU JUST CAME OVER HERE TO GET YOUR COCK SUCKED" she yelled.
"Well now.. " I said "Uh.. now wait"
She peered at me, eyebrows up, waiting for my explanation.
"Uh, now.. um" I explained.
"SEE?" she yelled. By this time I was wilting like a month-old daisy.
I stuffed myself back in my pants.
I lit a cigarette.
"Want to go to sleep?" I asked her.
"Are you really tired or are you just trying to get me in bed?"
"I'm really tired."
"ok then"
We got in bed. I kissed her. I put her hand on my parts.
She didn't seem as indignant as before.
After a good bit of sucking, kissing, slapping, yelling, and rolling around, I lay there next to her, giggling.
"You are such a jackass" she reminded me.
"True, but if I were nice to you, you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me."
"I don't want anything to do with you as it is."
Well, that's a pretty clear indication that it's time to shove off. I put my pants on, and went to go get drunker.
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