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stupid

I have been almost entirely stupid for a large portion of my life. This has proven a great hindrance.

Once I called a blonde kid named Ross a dickhead by a basketball court in Connecticut. He held me down and punched me in the face twice. I was eating a cookie at the time.

It's pretty strange to be punched in the mouth while eating a cookie. Stranger still to have it happen twice in rapid succession. I wanted to tell him to let me finish my fucking cookie.

Once I took a girl out in college and I didn't kiss her, even though I knew she wanted me to.

Once I ran from the cops, although in my defense I didn't know they were cops at the time. I just knew I was being chased. I had wired a switch up to the tail lights of my car so I could switch off the lights to the tag.

Once I ate a bunch of brownies which turned out to be pot brownies. I went to the bank and got very, very high in line. The security guard was staring at me.

Once I tried to cover up a fart by singing loudly. The fart was louder than the singing. The girl I was with said "Oh my GOD".

I should probably feel bad, and strive to become a little smarter, but all I'm looking for in life is a good time. I don't really want to make any money. I just want to create.

The good news is that being a little stupid gives you lots to talk about. People laugh. I laugh.

Not much beats that.


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