invitation to the blues
She called me from the bar, drunk, barely able to hold the phone. She was talking about getting in her car and driving, so I turned around. I was in my car at the time.I picked her up, and made her pay her tab. I told her to get her drunk ass in the car before I got mad.
If there is anything I can not understand, it's drunk driving. There is no reason to drive a car while you are intoxicated. If you have the money to get yourself pissed drunk, then you have the money for a cab.
"Why do you make me do this. I can take care of myself", she whined.
"Because I'm not going to let you kill your dumb ass driving drunk", I told her.
"You do it to teach me a lesson"
"I do it because I love you."
I pulled my car into her parking lot. We sat in the car and talked for awhile. I made her laugh. She told me, quietly, that no one had ever loved her like I did.
We went inside, and I kissed her on her couch. It was like I had suddenly put my lips on the soft neck of humanity, and the jugular vein of the world was pulsing under me, a vast, raging torrent of pure life.
We sat there on the couch, snuggling, watching TV. She was sitting with her legs across my lap.
It was at that moment that she farted.
I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. I laughed until I cried. We woke her roommate up laughing so hard.
When the laughter died down, she told me that I was the only person she could do that in front of and laugh about it, instead of feeling shame.
At that moment, she was the sweetest and most wonderful thing I had ever known in my life, and I would have done anything for her. I just smiled and went back to watching the TV.
"You taste like alcohol." I said.
"Get used to it."
<-- | Comments(0) | -->