ass bombs
I wish that the day after I was born an evil genius had stolen me from the hospital and installed a missile launcher in my ass that fired small but extremely explosive guided missiles out of my butt. This would enable me to bend over and instantly demolish anything I felt like demolishing.At this point in time, I would very much like to utterly obliterate the UPS under my coworker's desk that has been beeping all fucking night, because it is driving me out of my fucking mind, and I think guided highly-explosive ass bombs are definitely the way to go.
Also, it would be good for clearing a path through wooded areas, should I ever need to.
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