mutiny!
Sometimes when I get myself good and drunk and my motor skills suffer, I like to imagine that I am undergoing a mutiny attempt upon my person by my personal effects.Sometimes my Bic lighter conspires with my keys to jab me in the leg through my pocket.
"Mutiny!" I shout, and rearrange them.
The car, of course, is the most mutinous of the bunch, so I refuse to even go near it when I've been drinking. I can tame most of its uppity tricks when I am stone cold sober, but after a few drinks it gets the best of me.
This weekend I was set upon in a most cruel and mutinous manner by the following inanimate objects:
- a '79 fender stratocaster guitar
- a bic lighter (white)
- J-rock's car door (vw jetta)
- The stairs
- my door
- the lightswitch (too far up the wall to reach while lying on floor)
As you can see, there is a lot of discipline to be handed out to the objects in my life, and by god I am the man to deliver.
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