Stew's no man to mimic
A nice looking young lady came by the bar on the sidewalk as Mark D Patterson and I were outside talking to Becky. I grabbed her and started dancing with her to the music that pulsed out the window.She giggled. The song ended and I dipped her and then cheered loudly and asked her if she was coming inside. She said that she was. Becky handed me her cell phone.
"Talk to Shayla" she said.
"Shayla come out and hang with us! We're at the bar and I just danced with this really fine girl outside!" I was slurring uncontrollably, but the girl smiled. Shayla was yapping on her end of the phone but I couldn't understand a word of it. I gave the phone back to Becky, kissed her on the forehead, and Mark and I shoved off to go to collect Frog. I was doing a short gig with him at the VIP room in about 30 minutes and his early gig was wrapping up.
Mark and I walked over in the cold, laughing into the night air and trying to hurry along. I was drunk out of my stupid head and having a fine time.
We rolled up to the Landing and went inside. There was no one inside. Frog thumped away at his bass. I gave him the finger and we sat down.
There was a guy down in front of the stage dancing with three girls. They were swinging about and smiling at one another. He begal to flail his arms wildly, and in the process knocked over the band's tip jar, spilling money all over the floor.
Now, at the Landing, the floor is made of wood boards on the deck area where we were. They have that area closed in in the winter to heat the room. A few of the dollars slipped through, and as I watched the dude pick up the dollars, I shouted, without thinking: "ASS HOLE".
The guys head snapped up. "WHO SAID THAT?"
I pointed at Mark. He gave me a wide-eyed look. Now, Mark's a fine fella, and he does a fine job with his promotion business, but he's not the size of guy who would fare well in a bar fight. THe guy screamed at Mark. "DID YOU CALL ME AN ASSHOLE?"
I laughed so hard my head hurt. Frog grinned down at us from on stage. The guy was trying to get over to us to fight one or both of us.
"Hey man, it's not worth it." the lead singer said over the mic. "Take it easy now."
I was clutching my sides with laughter as the guy and his little troupe of girls sort of milled around. The girls formed a protective line to keep him from coming over to me and Mark.
"DO YOU WANT TO GO OUTSIDE?" he shouted.
I damned near fell off my chair laughing so hard. A cute blonde appeared and put one arm around each of myself and Mark, and began yapping about something, but I couldn't hear what she was saying.
Eventually Frog's gig was over and we left for the VIP room. I don't remember much after that, except bashing the dogshit out of the drums. I didn't have any cymbals except the hats, so I was having to get pretty creative, but I did okay. I sucked it up on a Sting song, but Stewart Copeland is no man to mimic when you're a drunken buffoon, and I certainly was.
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