Asian Carp
I like animals a lot, even though I realize that some of them would probably bite me if given half a chance, if not just eat me. That's pretty fucking rude.In the upper Mississippi river there are some Asian fish causing a ruckus. Seems these little fuckers are breeding out of control and eating food which was previously eaten by less cheeky fish.
One of their more anoying qualities is that they can grow to be over 120lbs. This is not annoying in itself, but coupled with their penchant for swimming fuck-off fast and jumping out of the water becomes a problem for humans in boats. Plenty of people have been beaned with fish.
Think of it. Nice day on the river with your lady friend. You pop open some high-grade boxed wine and a sack of pimento and cheese sandwiches. You and she are going to have yourselves day on the river and maybe get up to some smoochy later when out of the blue she gets clanged in the dome with a 120lb fish. Your whole day. Ruined!
Damn you asian carp!
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