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bicycle bad ass

Honk whistle splutter honk honk bonk ding dong splatter pickle on a broomstick pie!

I had a dream this morning that I was a fucking bicycling bad ass. I was in a race with some Germans back before world war two, and I was whipping some serious ass. Problem was, the Germans had paid kids to jump in my way and make me wreck, so i kept falling behind.

After a bit, i just started bunny hopping over the kids in a herculean feat of sheer bad assed american-ness. I rode on the back wheel only, and I was catching back up to the front, but those pesky Germans hired a hot girl to ride next to me with "Water Sex Girl" written on her arm in ball point pen, so of course I had to talk to her.

Those Germans are a sly bunch.

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