shooting blood
I examined a package of fig newtons."Hey man, these are edible, yeah?" I asked Mike, who nodded.
We had made off with a pretty good haul of snacks from work, since we had both just started and were too poor to buy our lunch. We grabbed handfulls of ritz bits packages and fig newtons and other snack claptrap. Some of the packages were dubious.
"I can't stand another package of ritz bits man" Mike moaned.
"Come on dude, buck up. The bits command thee"
"What about those things?" he asked, pointing to a package of some sort of wafers. They looked like they might not taste very good.
"I don't know if they are good or not. What if it kills me?"
"No one dies from wafers" he assured me.
"Okay I will eat one, but monitor me closely for signs of death"
"Okay"
I opened the package and took one out. It was a corrugated affair. I sniffed it. It had utterly no smell whatsoever. I found this disturbing, and yet sort of comforting at the same time. At least it didn't smell like fart, or gym socks or something.
"Quit stalling and eat it." Mike prodded.
"Okay, okay" I bit off the end of the wafer and began to chew it.
Nothing horrible immediately occurred. I looked around and chewed some more. Eyesight, check. Movements, check.
"Hey man am I squirting blood at all?" I asked Mike.
Mike started laughing, so I jabbed him in the neck with the rest of the wafer.
Who says there is no such thing as free lunch?
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