ass slapping
Tonight I was hanging around at the Saloon watching my hero the Tonemaster play with the boys. Tomorrow night I am playing there, but tonight he had the gig. I wanted to watch him do his thing anyway.For some reason, McLemore the bass player put his bass down and ran off in the ass-middle of the set, so I grabbed the Tonemaster's guitar and he played bass. He looked pretty funny with the bass on, but I was trying not to fuck up in front of someone whose playing I admire so much.
So, I'm whacking away at his guitar and sloshing all manner of drinks down my neck, and of course, there are a heap of foolish women pressed against the stage like wildly colorful sardines. One of them was shouting at me in the middle of my solo, as they are wont to do.
I couldn't catch what she was saying, but I think it was "You look like you could use some company" because about three seconds later there were 6 women on stage with us. They were dancing about and rubbing themselves on us, and I was trying not to a) fuck up or b) get pushed against the drums.
If you've never had a drummer whack a cymbal which is pressing against you at the time, I'm here to tell you it feels like getting 100,000 volts to the love handle.
So these foolish girls jumped their drunken asses up on stage and began to gyrate wildly along to whatever it was I was trying not to fuck up playing, and I decided it was time for a little justice, so I slapped the closest one on the ass.
She turned to look at me, but I was back to playing by that time. She kept looking around for the mysterious ass slapper, and eventually gave up and gyrated some more.
Ha ha. Foolish women, your asses will be slapped!
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