birthday drinking
Drinking on the day of your birthday is all fine and well, but I prefer to do it on the day before.This means that once you're good and shitfaced, your birthday is just rolling around and getting started up, and you have plenty of hours left to be the ridiculous madman whom your friends almost always tolerate.
This was going through my mind as I held the handle of a cigarette lighter down. It was shaped like a fire extinguisher. I was trying to fill a drinking straw with butane. Charles caught me in the act and took both away from me.
Charles always has a novelty lighter on him. He's got a fucking fetish for them. He has ones that look like wrenches and ones that look like packs of cigarettes, and all kinds of other ones with sayings on them. I just buy the plastic ones, myself.
"So I get here last week," he said.
"Yesh?"
"And I look at myself in the car mirror," he continued as he drunkenly pantomimed looking in the mirror, "and I say to myself 'Okay, I look like a can of smashed assholes, let's go', and then I get in here and this girl is like 'Well YOU're a fine looking thing!'"
"So what happened?"
"Ah, I called her once, but I sort of forgot to call back,"
And with that, he reached over to the little light fixture in the booth and unscrewed the light just enough so that it would go out.
It was at this point that the tequila arrived, standing on a large round tray, under which was a waitress.
The birthday drinking had begun.
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