Mom tears up a Target
Mom piloted her huge SUV through the streets of my town with no small amount of trepidation. Many a curb was subjected to a scraping at the tires of my mom.She wanted to go to Target.
"Are you sure it's up here on the right?"
"Oh yeah" I said.
I directed her into the deck. She maneuvered slowly around, then bashed into a concrete pillar.
"Here we are." she said.
We went inside the Target, and mom hunted down one of the little battery powered carts. She turned it on and whizzed over to the ladies restrooms. She got out of the cart and headed for the bathroom.
"Do not even think about getting in that thing and riding around." She said.
"Okay mom"
She disappeared into the bathroom.
I got on the cart. As I put it into reverse and began backing out into the store from the little hallway where the bathrooms are, I thought "I am twenty seven years old".
Beeeeep beeeeeep beeeeep went the cart.
I pulled back into the hallway and jammed on the brakes, making a satisfying chirping sound on the linoleum. I jumped out of the cart.
Mom appeared, and tottered over to it, regaining the controls.
She backed out into the Target.
Beeep beeeep beeep went the cart.
She began motoring the thing through the store. I watched with building glee as I realized she was mowing down displays and clothes alike. I began to laugh loudly.
"Watch out!" I shouted, "She's been drinking!"
Mom plowed down some cotton dresses and turned a quick right, bashing into a rolling display. She knocked it clear into the nearby walkway. I was seized by enormous, powerful peals of laughter.
I was almost in the floor by this time. Mom was telling me to stop laughing. I regained my composure long enough to grab a red phone hanging on the wall next to me.
"HELP!" I shouted into it, "Mom's going crazy! She's tearing the place up with a motorized cart!"
She gave me a look, and then zoomed off.
We gathered the things that we needed as mom cut a swath of destruction through several departments, and then got in line at the register.
"Well mom, you got some good hits in, but You didn't really take anything out completely." I said.
"Well we can always come back."
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