winking at 80mph (and stuff)
I got up this morning and somewhat blearily stuffed myself into some clothes. I then proceeded to stuff my clothed self into the car, which I subsequently stuffed onto the highway.Driving while groggy is like playing checkers while someone stuffs their tongue in your ear. You can do it, but performance suffers.
I was on the way to my guitar player's house to practice. We have this big gig tomorrow at an outdoor thing, so we were practicing our stuff like madmen. We also had to get ourselves stuffed back into the car to go to one of the local radio stations to be interviewed.
I pulled up to the radio station parking lot and we all piled out. Inside we found the music coordinator of the gig, and after a minute or two of waiting we went into the booth.
Two things were remarkable about being on the radio.
1) Radio DJ's have a lot of electrical stuff to manipulate while on the air
2) Radio DJ's talk differently when they aren't on the air. It's a bizarre phenomenon.
So, after we bantered a bit with Mister Very Very Cool And Dynamic Radio Voice Man we all pissed off to rest up for tomorrow.
Later in the day it turned out that I had access to free VIP passes to see the Allman Brothers playing here in town. My first instinct was to turn it down, because I have seen them 5 or 6 times, and I have met Warren Haynes and Allen Woody. I actually opened for them in Pennsylvania once.
Anyway I eventually figured I might as well go down and check it out, since I didn't have anything else to do.
On the way, a very bizarre thing happened.
While driving behind a large blue van with Louisiana plates, a girl in the back of the van pulled her pants down and mooned me.
Now, normally during the course of sexual congress one does encounter someone else's asshole, but you are PREPARED for it. I was not at all prepared to have one winking at me on the interstate.
I flashed my brights at her, and she did it again. This time I got the whole view, pussy and all. I was not any more prepared the second time, so I stomped on the gas and got myself the hell out of there. It was just too surreal.
At the show I related the story to Michael.
He said "Was it a hairy asshole?"
"I don't know," I told him. "I didn't get my brights on fast enough."
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(stuff)
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